btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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