We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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