So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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