I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
