Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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