You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
