im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
