Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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