So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize