i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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