You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
