what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
