Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
