How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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