yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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