can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
