Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
