i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
