Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
