Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
