Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize