Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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