he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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