you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background