Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to