Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just pee around me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.