Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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