Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
