should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize