I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
