Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
