But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
