so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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