Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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