My hair reeks of homosexuality.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
