We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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