Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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