Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
