I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
