So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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