My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
