North Korea, Best Korea!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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