His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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