That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
