wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
