I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
