I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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