Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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