sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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