I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
