We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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