Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
