I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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