dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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