Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
