Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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