So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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