I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
