i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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