If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
