i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
