but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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