All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
