I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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