Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
