Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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